I had the pleasure of guesting on CBC Radio's program, BC Almanac, this afternoon. This was not your standard back-and-forth interview between guest and host but a participatory program where listeners could call in and share their stories and ask questions. Due to limited time, we could only get to five callers, but what struck me was their wide variety of issues raised. To summarize ...
____ emphasized the importance of recognizing personal symptoms of stress and to keep the familial lines of communication open. I cannot agree more. You can reduce stress through many means including delegating responsibilities to others and taking your own respite time away. Talking to the family can be difficult as siblings may have different agendas.
_____ commented on the affordability of senior's centres and asked about senior's co-op living as a possible cost-savings measure. This term is something I am not personally aware of; however, there are certainly many different types and levels of care facilities across the country. The best thing to do is to thoroughly investigate each one and find out what is most appropriate.
_____ has been a caregiver for his aunt, mother and father. He admired the work of those in resource centres for the information they provide. These individuals and centres are to be commended indeed and deserve all the praise they can get. Frequently, such centres operate under non-profit status and have a shoestring operating budget.
_____ questioned how to approach her mother's reduced independence. This is a key issue for seniors as very few people like to admit they may - or do - need help. What may work is, if you have siblings, to approach your parent as a united front and gently repeat your concerns. Another option is to rely on the authorities. A family doctor, for example, can recommend that a parent give up driving because medical tests show that doing this has become unsafe.
And finally, _____ explained that she has put together her own representation agreement regarding her own eldercare. By her wishes, she has stated that her own children are not to be involved with her care - thus, removing them of the burden. Certainly, a generous move.
Even during this 15-minute radio program, I was reminded of the numerous issues which family caregivers assume. Many of these will be foreign to them. For your own sanity, please find a way to deal with your own specific issues. It can be tremendously difficult to bottle up issues and emotions forever; the cork will likely pop at some time.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Resounding Evidence for Family Caregiver Support
I was alarmed to read a news release this morning. This news release, from the Family Caregivers' Network Society, explained that two new studies just released by the Canadian Institute for Health Information (CIHI) highlight the significant role that family members and friends play in caring for our country's ailing seniors.
Among the study findings are the following points:
It could be well worth your time to read the full CIHI report regarding this study. To access this, just Google search the term "CIHI Report Supporting Informal Caregivers - The Heart of Home Care".
Among the study findings are the following points:
- One in six people who care for an ailing senior at home are in distress.
- Distress is highest when caring for over 21 hours per week, caring for someone with depression and cognition problems and those displaying aggressive behaviour.
- Dementia care is particularly stressful.
- Support is critical in maintaining family caregiver health.
It could be well worth your time to read the full CIHI report regarding this study. To access this, just Google search the term "CIHI Report Supporting Informal Caregivers - The Heart of Home Care".
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Strained Canadian Healthcare System Expected to Drain Resources of Caregivers
Can the Canadian healthcare system adequately handle the needs of our country's ever-growing senior population? According to a recent survey, over half of respondents feel not. The numbers from this poll, as reported in a recent news article (Postmedia News), indicate that 51 per cent of those surveyed suggest that the health care system will get worse before it gets better - possibly as soon as only two to three short years from now.
It's a proven fact that our country's population is getting older. Just look to the latest Canadian Census and you can see that baby boomers (living from British Columbia to Prince Edward Island) are aging. As we age, our physical and mental health can slide and care must be provided ... if these seniors cannot be housed in hospitals and/or appropriate long-term care centres with adequate staff, someone must look after Canada's aging residents. That job, typically, falls on the shoulders of family caregivers.
Our expected strained healthcare system is also expected to put more of a financial strain on users; however, this is facing some resistance. Whether by paying more for healthcare (through taxes or user fees), Canadians are unwilling to just open their wallets and/or purses wider. In the news article, it is stated that "Few Canadians are prepared to cough up more cash for healthcare. Twenty-two per cent said they are willing to pay more in taxes to ensure adequate health services for Baby Boomers as they age and even fewer - 15 per cent - are willing to sacrifice health promotion programs."
The issue of our country's strained healthcare system is not just simmering on the stove ... it is about to boil over. Considering the gloomy forecast, something must be done to adequately provide for these aged Canadians and their families.
It's a proven fact that our country's population is getting older. Just look to the latest Canadian Census and you can see that baby boomers (living from British Columbia to Prince Edward Island) are aging. As we age, our physical and mental health can slide and care must be provided ... if these seniors cannot be housed in hospitals and/or appropriate long-term care centres with adequate staff, someone must look after Canada's aging residents. That job, typically, falls on the shoulders of family caregivers.
Our expected strained healthcare system is also expected to put more of a financial strain on users; however, this is facing some resistance. Whether by paying more for healthcare (through taxes or user fees), Canadians are unwilling to just open their wallets and/or purses wider. In the news article, it is stated that "Few Canadians are prepared to cough up more cash for healthcare. Twenty-two per cent said they are willing to pay more in taxes to ensure adequate health services for Baby Boomers as they age and even fewer - 15 per cent - are willing to sacrifice health promotion programs."
The issue of our country's strained healthcare system is not just simmering on the stove ... it is about to boil over. Considering the gloomy forecast, something must be done to adequately provide for these aged Canadians and their families.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Five Essential Tools and Issues Caregivers Must Know About
Caregivers are never alone with what they face. By simply asking - and continually asking - questions, you can find a number of choices and options available to you to make your work more manageable. Whether your parent remains at-home or has been placed into long-term care, you will face new challenges ... here are essential tools and issues which you will need to be aware of:
1) Knowledge. Learn about your parent's disease, condition, treatments and support programs which may be available. Don't limit yourself. Seek information from many sources and remain persistent until you know what you need to know.
2) Stress. Caregiving brings with it many emotional triggers which can easily increase individual stress. While it is impossible to totally eliminate stress, you can reduce and/or manage it. The best way to handle stress is by taking respite ... temporarily escape from your caregiving by reading a book, meeting a friend for coffee or playing with the kids. Try not to rely on medication to manage stress.
3) Communication with medical professionals. Question your parent's doctor with regard to your parent's condition. Request suggestions as to what you can do to help your mother or father. Keep those lines of communication open as well ... you will need to further discuss other issues in the months ahead.
4) Community Resources. There can be many caregiving services available to you and your family. Call disease associations, faith communities (your church) and social service agencies. Once you have some names available to you, remember to delegate work to others.
5) Financial/Legal Planning. While it is impossible to anticipate the exact costs of future care, know that this can become very expensive. You may have to purchase a wheelchair for Mom or Dad or have to cover the skyrocketing costs of remaining in a hospital. Budget effectively. Keep your banker and/or financial advisor informed as well.
1) Knowledge. Learn about your parent's disease, condition, treatments and support programs which may be available. Don't limit yourself. Seek information from many sources and remain persistent until you know what you need to know.
2) Stress. Caregiving brings with it many emotional triggers which can easily increase individual stress. While it is impossible to totally eliminate stress, you can reduce and/or manage it. The best way to handle stress is by taking respite ... temporarily escape from your caregiving by reading a book, meeting a friend for coffee or playing with the kids. Try not to rely on medication to manage stress.
3) Communication with medical professionals. Question your parent's doctor with regard to your parent's condition. Request suggestions as to what you can do to help your mother or father. Keep those lines of communication open as well ... you will need to further discuss other issues in the months ahead.
4) Community Resources. There can be many caregiving services available to you and your family. Call disease associations, faith communities (your church) and social service agencies. Once you have some names available to you, remember to delegate work to others.
5) Financial/Legal Planning. While it is impossible to anticipate the exact costs of future care, know that this can become very expensive. You may have to purchase a wheelchair for Mom or Dad or have to cover the skyrocketing costs of remaining in a hospital. Budget effectively. Keep your banker and/or financial advisor informed as well.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Count Your Blessings for Being a Caregiver
Caregivers typically focus on the non-stop running around, the challenge of balancing their own lives and their parent's life, the incessant worrying and so on. Yes, you could easily identify with these negative issues and many others like them, but there is joy to be found in caregiving. You may, however, have to search harder for this. Your joy in caregiving can be just as difficult to find as the proverbial needle in a haystack ... once you uncover it, the search will be well worth the trouble. I, for one, failed to realize this truth until after both my parents passed away; however, this became very apparent. I had learned and grown from the experience. Here are just a few examples of how you can/will do the same:
Foster a better relationship with your parents: Should your connection with Mom and/or Dad be somewhat strained, those old wounds can be healed through your helping to provide care. These final years can be the best time to focus on what is important now, rather than what may have happened many years ago.
Become better organized: Balancing the many caregiving duties called for can seem like a juggling act. Caregivers are not experienced buskers who can easily keep three burning torches in the air simultaneously. With whatever way you choose or with whichever tool works best for you, you will become better organized. You will learn the value of preplanning your daily agendas with great care, while allowing for some flex time to always allow for the unexpected.
Set your own priorities: Just what is most important in your own life? Caregiving will help to identify what takes precedence. As an example, even years after Mom and Dad passed away, I am still speaking out on caregiving issues and trying to help others in the process ... this teaching is significant for me.
Foster a better relationship with your parents: Should your connection with Mom and/or Dad be somewhat strained, those old wounds can be healed through your helping to provide care. These final years can be the best time to focus on what is important now, rather than what may have happened many years ago.
Become better organized: Balancing the many caregiving duties called for can seem like a juggling act. Caregivers are not experienced buskers who can easily keep three burning torches in the air simultaneously. With whatever way you choose or with whichever tool works best for you, you will become better organized. You will learn the value of preplanning your daily agendas with great care, while allowing for some flex time to always allow for the unexpected.
Set your own priorities: Just what is most important in your own life? Caregiving will help to identify what takes precedence. As an example, even years after Mom and Dad passed away, I am still speaking out on caregiving issues and trying to help others in the process ... this teaching is significant for me.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Involving Your Furry Friends with Caregiving
Can a cat predict death? In the case of Oscar, a furry feline who prowls the hallways of a New England nursing home, this seems to be the case. Nursing home staff have regularly witnessed Oscar visit and stay with residents - Oscar's picks are remarkably accurate as these chosen residents have passed on within the next four hours. Whether or not these residents are actually aware of Oscar's presence is still to be determined; however, there must be some comfort provided from the purring cat curled up on the bed beside them.
Oscar was adopted by this nursing home as a kitten. He has grown up here, so he knows (and perhaps understands) the environment. It is somewhat eerie that a cat could play the role of the Grim Reaper, but he remains welcomed by the nursing home staff and, in fact, many family caregivers of those living there ... when Oscar comes calling, the staff pay attention and contact relatives. This gives family members advance notice and time to come pay their final respects.
Oscar is certainly not alone as the only pet in long-term care centres. Increasingly, such facilities are welcoming pets as regular residents or bringing in animals for visits. I have seen rabbits, budgies, cats and dogs all brought into senior's homes; typically, these birds and animals provide unconditional love, joy and comfort. Involving animals with a senior's care is known as pet therapy.
Bringing in a pet to visit with Mom or Dad in long-term care can certainly be beneficial; however, you do need to clear this with the staff first. Consider that dogs can become excited and bark - thus possibly alarming other residents. A bigger dog may seem intimidating to a senior. Don't overlook the possibility of resident allergies to your dog. Can you, Mom or Dad and your pet pooch visit in a secluded area?
Oscar was adopted by this nursing home as a kitten. He has grown up here, so he knows (and perhaps understands) the environment. It is somewhat eerie that a cat could play the role of the Grim Reaper, but he remains welcomed by the nursing home staff and, in fact, many family caregivers of those living there ... when Oscar comes calling, the staff pay attention and contact relatives. This gives family members advance notice and time to come pay their final respects.
Oscar is certainly not alone as the only pet in long-term care centres. Increasingly, such facilities are welcoming pets as regular residents or bringing in animals for visits. I have seen rabbits, budgies, cats and dogs all brought into senior's homes; typically, these birds and animals provide unconditional love, joy and comfort. Involving animals with a senior's care is known as pet therapy.
Bringing in a pet to visit with Mom or Dad in long-term care can certainly be beneficial; however, you do need to clear this with the staff first. Consider that dogs can become excited and bark - thus possibly alarming other residents. A bigger dog may seem intimidating to a senior. Don't overlook the possibility of resident allergies to your dog. Can you, Mom or Dad and your pet pooch visit in a secluded area?
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Practicing the Three P's with Family Caregiving Meetings
In families large or small, it is often necessary for siblings to meet and discuss plans for parental care. Considering the contentious issues involved here, these can be eruptive times (not everybody will agree on the most appropriate long-term facility, plans for death, assigned caregiving responsibilities, Mom or Dad's health prognosis and so on). Each adult child may come to the table with a completely different idea or approach to solving a problem. With Mom or Dad's health, safety and comfort involved (as priority number one) and maintaining family harmony (as priority number two), adult children must learn to work together and compromise. An easy way to do this is remember the three P's of family meetings:
Plan. Before leaving on a trip, you will map out where you want to go, locate your passport (if required) and collect what you want to pack along in your suitcase. With a detailed agenda, less can go wrong. Similarily, prior to a family caregiving meeting, plan what you want to discuss and what you want to accomplish. Collect what you need for supporting information (e.g. medical records, bank financial statements. pamphlets on long-term care centre choices and so on). Can you provide photocopies of this information to your siblings before you get together? Doing this will create a far more productive meeting. Another useful planning tool is an agenda ... draw up a weekly chart listing what needs to be done and naming who will be responsible for each task.
Partnering. Let everybody at your meeting have their say in an equal amount of time. When one sibling monopolizes the conversation, another sibling may well feel slighted. Even if the entire family does not immediately agree on the next course of action, the people in your group will feel more accountable and heard. Perhaps assign someone as your meeting's timer? He/she could time each speaker with a small stop watch and ring a bell when the alotted time is up.
Peace. If you are concerned with things getting out of hand at your own family meetings, bring in someone from the outside to monitor the proceedings. This person should be calm, capable and competent when it comes to leading a group (some examples of possible group leaders include mutual friends, members of the clergy and/or social workers). Try to choose your group leader by consensus. If not everybody agrees, then hold a vote to decide.
Hopefully, remembering and practicing these three P's with your family caregiving meetings will help you and your siblings work together and compromise. While you all may not immediately agree on what to do or how to do it, you will surely agree that your parent needs your attention and the best care possible at this time.
Plan. Before leaving on a trip, you will map out where you want to go, locate your passport (if required) and collect what you want to pack along in your suitcase. With a detailed agenda, less can go wrong. Similarily, prior to a family caregiving meeting, plan what you want to discuss and what you want to accomplish. Collect what you need for supporting information (e.g. medical records, bank financial statements. pamphlets on long-term care centre choices and so on). Can you provide photocopies of this information to your siblings before you get together? Doing this will create a far more productive meeting. Another useful planning tool is an agenda ... draw up a weekly chart listing what needs to be done and naming who will be responsible for each task.
Partnering. Let everybody at your meeting have their say in an equal amount of time. When one sibling monopolizes the conversation, another sibling may well feel slighted. Even if the entire family does not immediately agree on the next course of action, the people in your group will feel more accountable and heard. Perhaps assign someone as your meeting's timer? He/she could time each speaker with a small stop watch and ring a bell when the alotted time is up.
Peace. If you are concerned with things getting out of hand at your own family meetings, bring in someone from the outside to monitor the proceedings. This person should be calm, capable and competent when it comes to leading a group (some examples of possible group leaders include mutual friends, members of the clergy and/or social workers). Try to choose your group leader by consensus. If not everybody agrees, then hold a vote to decide.
Hopefully, remembering and practicing these three P's with your family caregiving meetings will help you and your siblings work together and compromise. While you all may not immediately agree on what to do or how to do it, you will surely agree that your parent needs your attention and the best care possible at this time.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Connecting with Aging Parents
Connecting moments between an aging parent and an adult child can dwindle over the course of time. This may not be the fault of either individual. For example, with my father's Alzheimer's disease, he lost both his memories and his ability to speak ... I would consider myself lucky to hear a mumble from him. In this case, having a conversation with Dad when I visited him was impossible. Should your mother or father be in a similar situation (due to a stroke, dementia, etc.), know that there remain ways to connect with him/her. Here are just a few suggestions:
Share a hobby with your parent. With Dad always being an avid book lover, I would often read to him. I believe that it really didn't matter what I chose to read, hearing the words provided some familiarity. What did your parent enjoy doing? Gardening? Finger painting? Can you continue or adapt this hobby?
Peruse photos. In the case of Alzheimer's patients, the long-term memory is, typically, the last thing to go. You may still be able to connect with your parent by showing him/her old family/vacation photos. Even if you cannot talk about your respective memories, you may easily get broad smiles of recognition with seeing a person, a time or a place from the past.
Provide a personal touch. One of the easiest ways to literally connect with a person is to touch him/her. By holding your parent's hand, for example, you can maintain a vital link. And, with hand-holding, you can do this either while walking with your parent or sitting and relaxing.
Although your parent is aging, there are still ample ways to maintain a strong connection with him/her. Try this for yourself and reap the benefits!
Share a hobby with your parent. With Dad always being an avid book lover, I would often read to him. I believe that it really didn't matter what I chose to read, hearing the words provided some familiarity. What did your parent enjoy doing? Gardening? Finger painting? Can you continue or adapt this hobby?
Peruse photos. In the case of Alzheimer's patients, the long-term memory is, typically, the last thing to go. You may still be able to connect with your parent by showing him/her old family/vacation photos. Even if you cannot talk about your respective memories, you may easily get broad smiles of recognition with seeing a person, a time or a place from the past.
Provide a personal touch. One of the easiest ways to literally connect with a person is to touch him/her. By holding your parent's hand, for example, you can maintain a vital link. And, with hand-holding, you can do this either while walking with your parent or sitting and relaxing.
Although your parent is aging, there are still ample ways to maintain a strong connection with him/her. Try this for yourself and reap the benefits!
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Who is a Caregiver?
While society typically recognizes "caregivers" as adult children tending to the needs of their older parents or even parents caring for their own children, caregivers exist on many, many different levels as well. Atypical examples of caregivers include the following:
Therefore, anybody, young or old, who helps tend to the needs of others (either physically, emotionally, mentally or spiritually) can be defined as a caregiver. You are never alone with your own caregiving experiences ... just look around and fully evaluate what others are doing then thank them for their efforts.
- The helpful neighbour who shovels the front walk, rakes the leaves or takes out the garbage for a housebound senior.
- The friend who drops in for a visit and to play a game of cards.
- The paid companion who provides homecare to Mom or Dad.
- The medical staff at Mom or Dad's nursing home who provide around-the-clock care (with medication delivery, bathing, feeding, etc.).
- The singing group which entertains at a senior citizen's facility.
- The volunteer who accompanies Mom or Dad outside on a walk or reads to your parent.
- The grandchild who colours a picture for a senior's room wall.
Therefore, anybody, young or old, who helps tend to the needs of others (either physically, emotionally, mentally or spiritually) can be defined as a caregiver. You are never alone with your own caregiving experiences ... just look around and fully evaluate what others are doing then thank them for their efforts.
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