Are you being selfish with your caregiving? Likely not; however, you should be. When I say "selfish", I don't mean this in a negative context. Many caregivers focus, first and foremost, on the individual they are assisting. While doing this is certainly excellent work, one should not allow him/herself to become so busy to completely disregard his/her own personal needs.
In my book, "Caregiver's Guide for Canadians", I provide a graphic entitled "Your Circle of Caregiving". This resembles a giant wheel with many spokes extending from it. At the end of each spoke, another smaller circle is drawn. I encourage readers to write in the names of people, agencies and other community supports who/which can provide help in some manner. My reason for mentioning this diagram is to highlight the importance of you. You will quickly notice that you remain in the centre of the picture therefore being an integral part of the caregiving process.
With being in the bulls-eye of the circle, I hope that you will also realize where your own needs must be placed. You must actually prioritize your own needs over those of your aging parent. You've likely heard the old cliche, "How can you care for someone else if you don't care for yourself first?" The adage couldn't be any truer. When you are tired, you become more run down, more emotional and more prone to your own health risks. With being sick, you are not going to accomplish much and may well have to quarantine yourself.
As a caregiver, remember where you stand in the grand scheme of things. I'm certainly not advising you to drop your caregiving duties completely, but find a way to compromise so that you can enjoy a regular break. Become more selfish with regard to your own needs. Taking that break will help keep both your mind and body healthier.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Winter Can Cause More Falls
Winter, with its snowfall and icy sidewalks, can become very treacherous for unstable seniors who become more prone to fall. While slippery conditions cause many slips, we cannot totally blame these; falls are also caused by decreased vision, prescribed medications and weakened muscle strength.
Many falls can be prevented through regular activity, checking medications and watching one's step.
By regular activity, I am recommending exercise. Get Mom or Dad moving; while your parent is not going to be running any marathons, he/she can keep active by walking and/or swimming on a daily basis. It won't take long to build up some increased muscle strength and better balance and your parent will become more confident when walking on ice and snow. With becoming stronger, Mom or Dad will also be able to do other things much easier as well (e.g. getting out of a chair or climbing the stairs).
Monitor your parent's medications carefully. Watch out for those medications which may cause drowsiness. When one is sleepy or relaxed, one is more likely to fall and experience an injury. Medications should be reviewed by your healthcare professional on a regular basis. Clarify an, and all, side effects of prescriptions, over-the-counter pills, herbal supplements and even vitamins.
Be mindful of where you step. This should go without saying; however, many distractions can cause us to not watch where we are going. One of the highest risk areas in a senior's home has to be the bathroom; the wet surfaces can become a death trap. Install grab bars and ensure these are securely in-place. Another idea is to paint any steps alternating colours to distinguish where to step down. When walking with your parent, hold on tightly.
Play it safe with Mom or Dad and falls can be reduced. Fewer falls equate to fewer injuries.
Many falls can be prevented through regular activity, checking medications and watching one's step.
By regular activity, I am recommending exercise. Get Mom or Dad moving; while your parent is not going to be running any marathons, he/she can keep active by walking and/or swimming on a daily basis. It won't take long to build up some increased muscle strength and better balance and your parent will become more confident when walking on ice and snow. With becoming stronger, Mom or Dad will also be able to do other things much easier as well (e.g. getting out of a chair or climbing the stairs).
Monitor your parent's medications carefully. Watch out for those medications which may cause drowsiness. When one is sleepy or relaxed, one is more likely to fall and experience an injury. Medications should be reviewed by your healthcare professional on a regular basis. Clarify an, and all, side effects of prescriptions, over-the-counter pills, herbal supplements and even vitamins.
Be mindful of where you step. This should go without saying; however, many distractions can cause us to not watch where we are going. One of the highest risk areas in a senior's home has to be the bathroom; the wet surfaces can become a death trap. Install grab bars and ensure these are securely in-place. Another idea is to paint any steps alternating colours to distinguish where to step down. When walking with your parent, hold on tightly.
Play it safe with Mom or Dad and falls can be reduced. Fewer falls equate to fewer injuries.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
10 Essential Tools for Family Caregivers
As a current or prospective caregiver, your life will become very different, very quickly. One thing is certain - your attention will become more focused on your parent and you may well fully or partially disregard your own needs. As for what else lies ahead, it is difficult to forecast (and perhaps impossible to tell unless you have a crystal ball ...). Still, you must prepare to the best of your abilities. With having been a former caregiver myself, I can share the following glimpse into what you can, or may, expect. Being aware of these issues can ultimately help you better manage your caregiving responsibilities.
Learn About Your Parent's Disease. Research every aspect of the disease that you can; you will want to learn about the course of the disease, possible treatments (including natural treatments, medications and operations) and available support programs (for both you and your parent). An ongoing sickness will eventually weaken and change a person and these changes will certainly affect you in how you care for this individual and how you respond personally to this situation.
Stress. Family caregivers looking after an aging parent's needs can experience angst and must deal effectively with this. Carrying unnecessary stress can be a heavy load. Seek out ways to release stress so that it does not become overly burdensome.
Communication with Healthcare Professionals. You will be dialoguing more so with doctors, nurses and so on about your parent's health. Do not hesitate to ask them questions about your mother's or father's condition and future prognosis. If you do not fully understand the answers, ask again until you do. Remember, you are acting on your parent's behalf and gathering related information is your right.
Community Resources. Wherever you live in this country, you will have access to help, whether this is through senior's organizations, disease associations, hospitals, day programs, libraries, churches and so on. Reach out to these resources; ask for and accept their help. While you may easily think you can do everything yourself, this can become easily overwhelming.
Financial/Legal Planning. Know that family caregiving can become expensive and you may have to budget or stretch your resources. Involve your banker or financial planner immediately and discuss any possible options.
Renovating a Senior's Home to Make it Safer. If Mom or Dad is not ready to move into a long-term care facility and remains living at home, then many adjustments will have to be made. Grab bars, stairlifts, non-skid mats and ramps are all likely additions. You should also consider removing unnecessary furniture which may inhibit movement or even trap a senior (that deep plush couch may be very comfortable, but Mom or Dad may not have the arm or leg strength to push up from it).
Creating a Family Plan. Put aside any lingering differences and meet with your family on a regular basis. This is not the time to air any "dirty laundry" or point fingers of blame; you must concentrate on the needs of your parent. Decide and delegate duties to each sibling and ensure that each individual is comfortable assuming these new responsibilities.
Home Care and Institutionalization. Whichever route you take for your aging parent, know that each is a business. You will be expected to pay for services provided. Personal healthcare insurance may not completely cover the costs. Know that you must communicate with service staff about your parent's needs and your own expectations.
Balancing Caregiving with Your Own Life. Caregiving can affect many aspects of your own life - your friends, your work and your family. While some juggling may be necessary, communication again is key. Tell those closest to you what you are dealing with. With your employer, look into work options (e.g. reduced work hours, job-sharing or paid leave time may all be possibilities).
Relax, Rejoice and Reconnect. Take time for yourself to better control the situation. Know that you don't always have to accomplish everything today ... what can you postpone until tomorrow?
Learn About Your Parent's Disease. Research every aspect of the disease that you can; you will want to learn about the course of the disease, possible treatments (including natural treatments, medications and operations) and available support programs (for both you and your parent). An ongoing sickness will eventually weaken and change a person and these changes will certainly affect you in how you care for this individual and how you respond personally to this situation.
Stress. Family caregivers looking after an aging parent's needs can experience angst and must deal effectively with this. Carrying unnecessary stress can be a heavy load. Seek out ways to release stress so that it does not become overly burdensome.
Communication with Healthcare Professionals. You will be dialoguing more so with doctors, nurses and so on about your parent's health. Do not hesitate to ask them questions about your mother's or father's condition and future prognosis. If you do not fully understand the answers, ask again until you do. Remember, you are acting on your parent's behalf and gathering related information is your right.
Community Resources. Wherever you live in this country, you will have access to help, whether this is through senior's organizations, disease associations, hospitals, day programs, libraries, churches and so on. Reach out to these resources; ask for and accept their help. While you may easily think you can do everything yourself, this can become easily overwhelming.
Financial/Legal Planning. Know that family caregiving can become expensive and you may have to budget or stretch your resources. Involve your banker or financial planner immediately and discuss any possible options.
Renovating a Senior's Home to Make it Safer. If Mom or Dad is not ready to move into a long-term care facility and remains living at home, then many adjustments will have to be made. Grab bars, stairlifts, non-skid mats and ramps are all likely additions. You should also consider removing unnecessary furniture which may inhibit movement or even trap a senior (that deep plush couch may be very comfortable, but Mom or Dad may not have the arm or leg strength to push up from it).
Creating a Family Plan. Put aside any lingering differences and meet with your family on a regular basis. This is not the time to air any "dirty laundry" or point fingers of blame; you must concentrate on the needs of your parent. Decide and delegate duties to each sibling and ensure that each individual is comfortable assuming these new responsibilities.
Home Care and Institutionalization. Whichever route you take for your aging parent, know that each is a business. You will be expected to pay for services provided. Personal healthcare insurance may not completely cover the costs. Know that you must communicate with service staff about your parent's needs and your own expectations.
Balancing Caregiving with Your Own Life. Caregiving can affect many aspects of your own life - your friends, your work and your family. While some juggling may be necessary, communication again is key. Tell those closest to you what you are dealing with. With your employer, look into work options (e.g. reduced work hours, job-sharing or paid leave time may all be possibilities).
Relax, Rejoice and Reconnect. Take time for yourself to better control the situation. Know that you don't always have to accomplish everything today ... what can you postpone until tomorrow?
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
An Empathetic Book Review
I was truly flattered to receive this review from a reader of my new book, "Caregiver's Guide for Canadians". I have reprinted this in its entirety below ...
An object only becomes necessary to possess when it is discovered that it is beautiful, rare and valuable. So it is with an idea. When it is deemed important, it becomes mandatory to utilize or own it. This book is a rare jewel that needs to be 'possessed' in every person's life, for their own well-being.
This 139-page book is a caregiver's goldmine of information and shared experience. Any person who is, or may be, involved in being a part-time or full-time caregiver for a loved one will be glad to be able to access this collection of valuable tips and must do's to easy their way in doing this very difficult work while also making a life for themselves (and family).
Rick's first chapter, "Sharing My Story" touched me deeply. I too have dealt with multiple instances of caregiving. He is clear and articulate, but I could read the emotion between the lines. Caregiving can be a blessing, but it is truly a very difficult job on all levels.
The chapter on "Defining Caregiving" is very important for many reasons. A potential caregiver has to realize that it is a necessity to offer this sacrifice for a loved one - a sacrifice which includes steep learning curves on many medical issues as well as changes in personal attitudes and needs. Section 2 on "Remembering to take care of yourself" is a standout, true knock-out punch. There will be many times in the span of caregiving when it is a real life sacrifice to continue. All efforts that can be made to de-stress, sleep and eat properly and otherwise look after your own situation will help overcome the aftermath of the constant devotion, attention and time involved in caregiving. Besides the weariness of body/health/mind, at the end of each caregiving role is the resultant grief of saying goodbye to a dear person and closing all affairs.
Caregiving in different locations and finding suitable accommodation includes valuable information on many things that may not be realized until after important decisions have been made. When dealing with an irretrievably unwell person, it is amazing how many issues there are that have to be investigated in order for the loved one to be in as comfortable a position as possible. Every item must be considered, but be aware that what may be said, indeed written, may not come to pass in actuality. Constant supervision may be required to ensure proper care and nutrition. One cannot assume that 100% of the care that you would hope to be given to a "patient" is actually done - whether it be meals, dressing, laundry, medical or personal needs. For example, small but important things like changing watch batteries, clocks at time change, finding out if new personal items (shampoo, clothes, etc.) are required, adherence to diet requirements (by patient and facility) may take personal investigation or observation on an ongoing basis.
I speak from experience as a previous staff member of a long-term care facility as well as a caregiver in multiple (all different) cases. Rick speaks of caregiving for older persons. I have also been a caregiver for persons in their 40's and younger, whose needs are different in many ways, although the end result may be the same. Constant adjustments have to be done considering the medical problems, age and subsequent needs of each person. Some of what is written may not apply to such a situation.
Rick has attempted to ease caregiving situations by giving lists of possible resources, activities, aids, etc. that will make life easier for all parties involved. As well, the print-out sheets at the end of this book (Caregiving Checklists and Worksheets) are valuable beginnings for all potential caregivers. Each situation is unique and may require adjustments in the forms, but the basic information required is shown.
In Chapter 11, Rick states, "... caring for ... were some of the hardest things I have ever had to do ..." I totally agree, and you will too. He ends with a positive note that, "caregiving can also be a beautiful thing." You will find out why. Note that it will be necessary tlo prepare for the future, the end of that particular caregiving role and who knows what - maybe you will be the next one to access someone to be a caregiver for you. This book is also helpful to allow you to ease into that transition in the knowledge that you could make it as easy as possible for your future caregiver - and thus yourself. This book will benefit you on all counts. Remember that life is not static - it can change in a moment.
Shirley K. Stevenson - Edmonton
An object only becomes necessary to possess when it is discovered that it is beautiful, rare and valuable. So it is with an idea. When it is deemed important, it becomes mandatory to utilize or own it. This book is a rare jewel that needs to be 'possessed' in every person's life, for their own well-being.
This 139-page book is a caregiver's goldmine of information and shared experience. Any person who is, or may be, involved in being a part-time or full-time caregiver for a loved one will be glad to be able to access this collection of valuable tips and must do's to easy their way in doing this very difficult work while also making a life for themselves (and family).
Rick's first chapter, "Sharing My Story" touched me deeply. I too have dealt with multiple instances of caregiving. He is clear and articulate, but I could read the emotion between the lines. Caregiving can be a blessing, but it is truly a very difficult job on all levels.
The chapter on "Defining Caregiving" is very important for many reasons. A potential caregiver has to realize that it is a necessity to offer this sacrifice for a loved one - a sacrifice which includes steep learning curves on many medical issues as well as changes in personal attitudes and needs. Section 2 on "Remembering to take care of yourself" is a standout, true knock-out punch. There will be many times in the span of caregiving when it is a real life sacrifice to continue. All efforts that can be made to de-stress, sleep and eat properly and otherwise look after your own situation will help overcome the aftermath of the constant devotion, attention and time involved in caregiving. Besides the weariness of body/health/mind, at the end of each caregiving role is the resultant grief of saying goodbye to a dear person and closing all affairs.
Caregiving in different locations and finding suitable accommodation includes valuable information on many things that may not be realized until after important decisions have been made. When dealing with an irretrievably unwell person, it is amazing how many issues there are that have to be investigated in order for the loved one to be in as comfortable a position as possible. Every item must be considered, but be aware that what may be said, indeed written, may not come to pass in actuality. Constant supervision may be required to ensure proper care and nutrition. One cannot assume that 100% of the care that you would hope to be given to a "patient" is actually done - whether it be meals, dressing, laundry, medical or personal needs. For example, small but important things like changing watch batteries, clocks at time change, finding out if new personal items (shampoo, clothes, etc.) are required, adherence to diet requirements (by patient and facility) may take personal investigation or observation on an ongoing basis.
I speak from experience as a previous staff member of a long-term care facility as well as a caregiver in multiple (all different) cases. Rick speaks of caregiving for older persons. I have also been a caregiver for persons in their 40's and younger, whose needs are different in many ways, although the end result may be the same. Constant adjustments have to be done considering the medical problems, age and subsequent needs of each person. Some of what is written may not apply to such a situation.
Rick has attempted to ease caregiving situations by giving lists of possible resources, activities, aids, etc. that will make life easier for all parties involved. As well, the print-out sheets at the end of this book (Caregiving Checklists and Worksheets) are valuable beginnings for all potential caregivers. Each situation is unique and may require adjustments in the forms, but the basic information required is shown.
In Chapter 11, Rick states, "... caring for ... were some of the hardest things I have ever had to do ..." I totally agree, and you will too. He ends with a positive note that, "caregiving can also be a beautiful thing." You will find out why. Note that it will be necessary tlo prepare for the future, the end of that particular caregiving role and who knows what - maybe you will be the next one to access someone to be a caregiver for you. This book is also helpful to allow you to ease into that transition in the knowledge that you could make it as easy as possible for your future caregiver - and thus yourself. This book will benefit you on all counts. Remember that life is not static - it can change in a moment.
Shirley K. Stevenson - Edmonton
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