Finding more “me” time when caring for a loved one may sound impossible; however, for your own health and well-being, this must be done on a regular basis.
As a former co-caregiver for both of my aging parents, I well recall how consuming the task was – I focused much of my own time, energy and resources on Mom and Dad. In the process, I completely overlooked my own needs. As a result, I felt increased stress, suffered from poor personal health, became more irritable, did not eat well and so on. Chances are that you will understand and relate to many of these symptoms.
While still concentrating on my caregiving responsibilities, I began to step back occasionally. Walking and writing were two of my favourite pastimes – I don’t know if I put more miles on my hiking boots or my computer keyboard! By allowing some time for “me”, I could recharge my caregiving batteries and could return to the job at-hand with increased energy while not risking my own health.
All fine and good, you might say, but how does one find more “me” time to enjoy? It’s a good concept, in theory, but there are only 24 hours in a day and much of that is spoken for already with your own caregiving responsibilities. Here are a few ideas that might help you:
Schedule “me” time: Log this in your daytimer and indicate what you plan to do and when you plan to do it. Seeing something on-paper makes it more of a commitment. My advice is to start small – maybe 15 minutes to walk around the neighbourhood or sit and sip your morning coffee in peace and quiet before you start your busy day.
Say “No”: Know that you don’t have to agree to every single thing that comes your way. If you remain unsure and/or don’t want to hurt anybody else’s feelings, then try replying with “I’d like to get back to you about this … can we talk about it more in a few days?” Allow yourself some time to better consider the request and decide whether or not you can, realistically, accept it.
Create personal space. Look around in your own home. Can you find a room (or even a corner) to call your own? When things become overwhelming, you can seek out this space to collect your thoughts. Obviously, privacy can be better found if your space has a door which you can close; however, you can insist that your family respects your own time. Young kids who often get served “time out” sentences may just get a kick out of hearing that Mom/Dad needs one instead!
Turn off the cell phone: Chances are that there will be nothing that pressing that can’t wait for an hour or so. Take that time to do something for yourself instead.
Share the work load: It’s very true that many hands make light work. Even is someone in your family may not be providing any hands-on care for an aging parent, he/she can still help out in other ways (perhaps picking up the kids after school, going grocery-shopping or chipping in to wash the dishes after dinner). When someone else can help out, this will allow you to have more “me” time to wind down.
Buy an electronic reader: Reading is a great way to recharge; however, you may not want to carry a bulky book around with you all the time. An electronic reader provides an excellent alternative as it can easily and inconspicuously slide in to a jacket pocket – making it far more portable as well as an excellent “escape” when you can steal a few minutes away from caregiving.
Taking time out for yourself may seem like an insurmountable challenge; however , by doing so, you can become a better caregiver
