Picking up the pieces after a loved one passes away is rarely easy. Rightfully so, as you have had a strong emotional relationship with this person (whether a parent, good friend or spouse/partner) and cared for him/her for months or even years. No matter who you are or where you are in your caregiving, there is a lot of "you" devoted to the job ... when the non-stop running suddenly ends (when a loved one dies), where does that leave you?
With having provided care for both of my aging parents, I well remember my own response after they died. I felt lost, empty and alone (these feelings intensified after Dad passed as neither parent remained alive - I felt orphaned!). I wandered aimlessly - simply to escape the walls of my home. My mind raced with final memories and I could not fully concentrate on anything else.
Grieving at this time is to be expected. It is a natural process which takes time, so allow yourself time to do so. But do not forget that you must carry on and you can help yourself do so and, eventually, heal.
Some time after Dad's death, I learned of a bereavement support group and, tentatively, signed up. Although I wasn't sure of what to expect (nor of my own willingness to participate), this turned out to one of the best moves I could make at that time. I remember our group was very supportive and the group leader was both caring and patient. Although it took some coaxing, each of us was invited to open up with the others ... we could do so in any way we felt fit, whether by writing a letter to our deceased loved one, creating collages and/or sharing special mementos. There were tears shed, but doing so proved to be very therapeutic.
My message here is simple; you will slide somewhat after a death, but it's important to, once again, pick up the pieces in your own life and carry on. Sharing with others in a bereavement group is just one way to do this - feel free to explore other opportunities and do so in whatever manner which is most comfortable for you. Also, don't allow anyone to rush your grieving ... it is a personal process.
