Downsizing can be difficult enough; however, downsizing an aging parent can be absolutely painful. Much of the problem here lies with an emotional attachment ... something that shines clearly through when moving Mom or Dad to a smaller facility. With the tighter confines of limited space, there is less and less storage space for personal belongings; simply put, not all of the parental furniture can be moved into that single room in long-term care. What's the answer?
Often, family caregivers choose to inherit some of the parental pieces ... these may or may not go with their current decor, but there are strong sentiments involved with Mom's old rocker or Dad's old stereo stand. Family caregivers may typically feel a sense of responsibility to take over the furniture or a sense of loss if they choose to dispose of it too quickly.The other common option is for family caregivers to personally store such larger items in a basement or garage until some later date.
I'd like to suggest two other options which may work well for you. First, why not donate this furniture to a worthy cause? Know that that worn-in armchair will find a new home where it can be completely appreciated. Leaf through your local Yellow Pages and make some calls to non-profit associations to ask about this. Sometimes, pick-up of unneeded items can be arranged to save you the trouble. The second option worth considering is paid storage. Secured storage facilities are popping up more frequently these days; these offer a number of different-sized indoor (heated) and outdoor (non-heated) lockers where you can place furniture or other items you may not be ready to part with as yet. Fill out some quick paperwork, insure the contents (if desired) and you are set to go.
So, as you can see, you don't have to start parking your car on the front street because your garage has piled high with aging furniture. While it will be impossible for your parents to continue using this in long-term care, this does not mean that you have to become fully responsible for it either. Consider the options.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Author Photo from Words in the Park
The author at work promoting his book at the Strathcona Library's "Words in the Park" event ...
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Walking in a Caregiver's Shoes
I often wonder about friends of caregivers who try to console by sympathetically saying, "I understand what you're going through". But do they really understand? I personally believe that a person cannot really comprehend what a caregiver goes through unless he/she has done it personally. Maybe that is the "visual" side of me speaking; however, this makes perfect sense as one often has to experience something to truly understand it.
There are far better responses. First, try to learn what you can about your friend's parent's health condition. Go to the library or surf the Internet to gain knowledge. Just please be mindful of the on-line source ... perhaps look at the writer's credentials and/or the date of the last update of the material written. With learning more about a health condition, you can speak more knowledgeably about it.
Second, just listen. As I have learned from getting out in the public eye and promoting my book, caregivers do want to talk - I have heard many stories of aging parents and the related troubles. I believe the key here is for the person caregivers choose to dialogue with must be trustworthy. As for me? Caregivers obviously know that I have gone through a similar experience and I can relate. Yes, I can do so and I can sympathize - another important characteristic. Often, just allowing a caregiver to vent will allow him/her to release some pent up frustration and stress.
Third, ask how you can help. Assistance can take many forms ... perhaps you can look after the caregiver's own children for the day to allow some much-needed respite time? Maybe you can save a caregiver the trip to the grocery store by doing this yourself? Possibly you can shovel their sidewalks clear of snow? As you can see, "help" does not always mean hands-on help. Even the offer of help can be greatly appreciated by a caregiver.
By all means, continue to sympathize and support caregivers, but please think twice before saying, "I understand what you are going through". Do you truly understand?
There are far better responses. First, try to learn what you can about your friend's parent's health condition. Go to the library or surf the Internet to gain knowledge. Just please be mindful of the on-line source ... perhaps look at the writer's credentials and/or the date of the last update of the material written. With learning more about a health condition, you can speak more knowledgeably about it.
Second, just listen. As I have learned from getting out in the public eye and promoting my book, caregivers do want to talk - I have heard many stories of aging parents and the related troubles. I believe the key here is for the person caregivers choose to dialogue with must be trustworthy. As for me? Caregivers obviously know that I have gone through a similar experience and I can relate. Yes, I can do so and I can sympathize - another important characteristic. Often, just allowing a caregiver to vent will allow him/her to release some pent up frustration and stress.
Third, ask how you can help. Assistance can take many forms ... perhaps you can look after the caregiver's own children for the day to allow some much-needed respite time? Maybe you can save a caregiver the trip to the grocery store by doing this yourself? Possibly you can shovel their sidewalks clear of snow? As you can see, "help" does not always mean hands-on help. Even the offer of help can be greatly appreciated by a caregiver.
By all means, continue to sympathize and support caregivers, but please think twice before saying, "I understand what you are going through". Do you truly understand?
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