As a current or prospective caregiver, your life will become very different, very quickly. One thing is certain - your attention will become more focused on your parent and you may well fully or partially disregard your own needs. As for what else lies ahead, it is difficult to forecast (and perhaps impossible to tell unless you have a crystal ball ...). Still, you must prepare to the best of your abilities. With having been a former caregiver myself, I can share the following glimpse into what you can, or may, expect. Being aware of these issues can ultimately help you better manage your caregiving responsibilities.
Learn About Your Parent's Disease. Research every aspect of the disease that you can; you will want to learn about the course of the disease, possible treatments (including natural treatments, medications and operations) and available support programs (for both you and your parent). An ongoing sickness will eventually weaken and change a person and these changes will certainly affect you in how you care for this individual and how you respond personally to this situation.
Stress. Family caregivers looking after an aging parent's needs can experience angst and must deal effectively with this. Carrying unnecessary stress can be a heavy load. Seek out ways to release stress so that it does not become overly burdensome.
Communication with Healthcare Professionals. You will be dialoguing more so with doctors, nurses and so on about your parent's health. Do not hesitate to ask them questions about your mother's or father's condition and future prognosis. If you do not fully understand the answers, ask again until you do. Remember, you are acting on your parent's behalf and gathering related information is your right.
Community Resources. Wherever you live in this country, you will have access to help, whether this is through senior's organizations, disease associations, hospitals, day programs, libraries, churches and so on. Reach out to these resources; ask for and accept their help. While you may easily think you can do everything yourself, this can become easily overwhelming.
Financial/Legal Planning. Know that family caregiving can become expensive and you may have to budget or stretch your resources. Involve your banker or financial planner immediately and discuss any possible options.
Renovating a Senior's Home to Make it Safer. If Mom or Dad is not ready to move into a long-term care facility and remains living at home, then many adjustments will have to be made. Grab bars, stairlifts, non-skid mats and ramps are all likely additions. You should also consider removing unnecessary furniture which may inhibit movement or even trap a senior (that deep plush couch may be very comfortable, but Mom or Dad may not have the arm or leg strength to push up from it).
Creating a Family Plan. Put aside any lingering differences and meet with your family on a regular basis. This is not the time to air any "dirty laundry" or point fingers of blame; you must concentrate on the needs of your parent. Decide and delegate duties to each sibling and ensure that each individual is comfortable assuming these new responsibilities.
Home Care and Institutionalization. Whichever route you take for your aging parent, know that each is a business. You will be expected to pay for services provided. Personal healthcare insurance may not completely cover the costs. Know that you must communicate with service staff about your parent's needs and your own expectations.
Balancing Caregiving with Your Own Life. Caregiving can affect many aspects of your own life - your friends, your work and your family. While some juggling may be necessary, communication again is key. Tell those closest to you what you are dealing with. With your employer, look into work options (e.g. reduced work hours, job-sharing or paid leave time may all be possibilities).
Relax, Rejoice and Reconnect. Take time for yourself to better control the situation. Know that you don't always have to accomplish everything today ... what can you postpone until tomorrow?
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