I've made an interesting observation. In doing a number of book signings and speaking events to-date, I have noticed many people share their caregiving story with me. I can't tell you how many times someone has told me of his/her 76-year-old mother suffering from cancer or his/her 82-year-old father just admitted into long-term care. I greatly sympathize.
With those numbers of stories heard, it seems to me that caregivers WANT to tell their stories. This is a far healthier approach than bottling up the frustrations. Therefore, if you of a caregiver (and chances are high that you do ...), please encourage him/her to share with you.
Please don't feel bad if you cannot offer any constructive advice ... even just listening to a caregiver can be helpful. Allow him/her to talk openly with you and do not be judgmental. Be patient as these stories may be difficult for someone to tell. You don't have to be a professional psychologist or counsellor ... simply provide a couple of ears along with your best understanding.
To help you with this assignment, please consider the following listening tips:
Lean forward: Doing so indicates interest in what someone else is telling you.
Maintain eye contact: As above, this tells someone that you are providing your attention.
Paraphrase: If you are unsure what your friend is speaking about or wish to clarify a point, try repeating the last sentence or two he/she has said. Say something like, "I hear that you are frustrated with trying to balance your own life with that of being a caregiver ... is this right?"
Active listening is a simple skill for you to master. By letting someone release his/her pent-up frustrations, both of you will likely feel far better!
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