When The Sky Turns Purple

Meaningful conversations with a senior with dementia can become a thing of the past. I remember Dad’s declining due to Alzheimer’s disease. In due course, Dad forgot all the details from his own life and could certainly not hold up his end of a discussion.

Without conversation, caregiving visits with a senior in long-term care may seem difficult and, perhaps, even boring. Despite this, I would encourage you to continue to spend time with your loved one and keep him/her talking – at whatever level he/she can. Talking about anything can help keep a senior involved and engaged. How can you do this? Try these tips:

Expect to start the conversation. Using a prompt can be beneficial here. Share current news from the daily newspaper and ask for thoughts. As an example, at the time of writing this blog entry, the Summer Olympics are winding down in London. Talking about the medal standings could generate questions like, “What was your favourite sport (as a spectator or a participant)?” or “Which sport would you like to try and why?” Aim to ask more open-ended questions (ones which require more than a simple “yes” or “no” answer). It may help to provide several prompts as conversation could become livelier about one topic rather than another.

Flip through a family photo album and remember the stories behind the pictures. It can sting deeply when Mom/Dad does not recall the memories or cannot correctly identify the people in the pictures. In this case, resist arguing with or correcting Mom/Dad … trust me, this only leads to unneeded frustration for all parties involved and becomes pointless, as well. If the senior thinks the sky is purple, the sky is, indeed, purple!

Recall stories from the past. Humorous stories can work well as, even if the details are forgotten, the experiences can still be funny to laugh about.

When discussion becomes impossible (Dad lost his ability to speak), do your best to continue talking with your loved one. I resorted to reading out loud and understood that even hearing a person’s voice can be soothing.