Increased time management skills. There
is nothing like looking after another individual’s needs to help you
with your own time management. You may learn to allow more time for
certain appointments to give you and your aging parent more opportunity
to reach these offices or book neighbouring appointments located within
the same vicinity on the same afternoon (so as to keep driving time to a
minimum). You may also gain a better understanding of how much allotted
time is necessary for tasks. What can be done in 20 minutes and what
needs a couple of hours to complete?
Better organizational abilities. Similar
to the above, working hands-on with an aging senior can improve your
own organizational abilities. When faced with juggling the many
associated tasks, along with the balancing act required with your own
life and family, providing eldercare can help you become a far better
multi-tasker. For example, I moved from using sticky notes for
everything to developing a dedicated filing system for my parents’
needs. Taking this one step further, I even colour-coded the files… blue
for healthcare, red for financial and so on — trust me, this was a far
better system!
Enhanced family dynamics. Should
you be working with siblings while providing eldercare, doing this can
create an excellent opportunity to better bond with a brother or sister.
Improved communications between siblings is another related aspect here
… you must learn to compromise for the sake of your parent. Remember,
when the family is arguing about Mom or Dad’s personal affairs, nothing
gets done. Caregiving can become a family’s greatest gift, in the fact
that, by sharing the workload, you may better bond with a sibling.
Improved relationships with the senior. Decreasing
physical and mental health doesn’t have to be a drawback. My own
father’s Alzheimer’s disease, for example, allowed me to become closer
with him. Dad was always an intensely private man; however, his dementia
knocked down those protective walls he had built up around him and
allowed me in. For the first time ever, I was able to hug Dad and hear
his approval. If your parent remains able to communicate, he/she may
open up to you and tell you about issues once held private.
Knowing that Mom/Dad is in a better place. Moving Dad into his secured unit had to be one of the most difficult things I ever had to do as it provided a stark reality that he was not going to get better. I realized, however, that, with the environment and the professional staff on-hand, that he was better off than if I tried to care for him independently. Furthermore, Dad's Alzheimer's disease had advanced to the point where him living at-home and independently was impossible as well as unsafe.
Increased self-awareness. Just
what are your own capabilities as a caregiver? When helping an aging
senior, there is no shortage of accompanying responsibilities. You may
provide day-to-day support as a Guardian or report on financial matters
as a Trustee. You may shuttle Mom or Dad to doctor’s appointments, pick
up medications, offer a manicure/pedicure or provide your parent a bath.
When you can accomplish something (specifically something outside your
own comfort zone), it can make you a stronger and more self-confident
individual.
A better realization of what is most important. Providing
care to a senior can be overwhelming at times. When you can delegate
caring to another individual, you can take a break for yourself. Even if
this is only 30 minutes having coffee with a good friend or soaking in a
soothing bubble bath, you may be able to stop and provide yourself some
much-needed self-care. With recognizing how important self-care is, you
may be better able to continue to practice this in the future.
A sense of payback. After
so many years of Mom or Dad caring for you, you may feel pleased to now
return the favour. Do not consider this as your “obligation”… instead,
see this as your “right”.
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