A good friend of mine was driving an hour and a half each week to visit her mother, who lived in a distant city. This may not seem like much; however, consider that hour and a half becomes three hours for the round trip and this accounts for a good percentage of each day. Travelling time is just one of the many problems associated with caregiving from a distance ... even a seemingly short distance, when driven regularly, can snowball to become dramatic.
If your parents live elsewhere, you can expect to still visit occasionally; however, there are many things you can do from your own home base, thus saving on time, fuel costs and unnecessary wear and tear on your vehicle. Here are a number of my recommendations:
1) Connect with your parent's friends and neighbours. Share phone numbers/e-mail addresses. A person living right next door to your parents can become a trusted source of information. He/she can become that critical extra set of eyes and ears and provide updates to you on a regular basis.
2) Look at volunteer opportunities for your parents. Should Mom and/or Dad remain competent, they can help out with a needy cause. When my parents were living at a distance from me, they volunteered for the local Meals-on-Wheels program (which provides pre-cooked meals to those who are housebound). Doing this benefitted my parents in several ways: they remained active (both personally and in the community), they got to learn their way around their (then-new) retirement home, they felt involved and they met other city residents.
3) Hire part-time help. Can you employ a local individual to do some light cooking and/or cleaning for your parents? Perhaps someone could mow the lawn or shovel the walks? Maybe someone could even come in once or twice per week to accompany your parent out on an hour-long walk? Having someone in place for even a couple of hours per week will help you and your parent. And the best part? When you come to visit, you can send your care worker out on necessary errands. This will free up your time and you can spend more quality hours with your parent - and isn't that what matters the most?
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