Saturday, October 23, 2010

Caregivers to Look Both Ways Before Crossing

Pedestrians are advised to look both ways before crossing the street ... mindful caregivers should take similar precautions. As a caregiver, you are not watching out for speeding motorists; instead, you are exercising caution by analyzing what else might be approaching.

Simply put, when you know what is coming, you can better prepare. Obviously, one cannot totally anticipate everything that lies ahead; however, one can make less grandiose plans. If Alzheimer's disease runs in your own family, start visiting and touring secured units sooner rather than later. Even if your parent is well in many respects, consider signing him/her up on a care facility's waiting list. I was recently speaking to a woman whose mother, at 65 years old, was adamant about the very idea of long-term care. However, the waiting list was eight years long, so, you can see how important it would be to register right now.

It may also become necessary for an adult child in the family to take over paying Mom and/or Dad's ongoing bills. Visiting the bank and arranging someone in the family to become a co-signer on a parental account is far easier when Mom and/or Dad is physically and mentally well ... this way, travelling is not impossible and your parent will better understand what is happening when you arrive at the bank.

You can also begin researching various health conditions to become more educated as to what may hit Mom or Dad in the later years, what medications and/or treatment(s) may be available and the prognosis for such conditions. When you learn more about a specific medical condition, you will have a far better understanding of it and know what you can do to keep your parent as comfortable as possible.

Preparation is just one of the many issues faced by new caregivers. Remember to always look both ways before stepping forward to avoid being bowled over by something unexpected.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Helping Hands for Caregivers

Caregivers do need and appreciate help. I was reminded of this fact as I participated in a recent Caregiver's Expo as an exhibitor. The event was well-attended and business was brisk for many of my neighbouring exhibitors and myself. A good-sized crowd gathered to listen to the keynote speaker who presented on how important maintaining a sense of humour is while providing care.

As attendees (both young and old) approached me, I saw a glimmer of hope in their eyes ... perhaps I could provide some answers for them through my book. I heard stories from adult children looking after their parents, spouses caring for their partners and one woman who was helping her own younger sister.

I listened with despair to these stories ... often, caregivers have their hands tied with what they can do medically for an aging parent. But family caregivers can do a great deal in other respects - specifically, when it comes to making a parent more comfortable or their own lives more bearable. There are many exceptional products on the market today (and more continually being developed) to ease discomfort and provide continued independence for a senior for as long as possible. Visit your local healthcare supply store to learn about these products.

Caregivers must also pay attention to their own needs. Take a break; walk away for even one hour per day and this will help.

My Caregiver's Expo was just one of many resources available to caregivers. What is discouraging is these type of events are not held more frequently and are not widely-advertised. Therefore, it is up to the caregiver to take the initiative and seek out help and support from others. Begin with your own family and friends, research Senior's Associations in your local telephone book, turn to the Internet to learn more about caregiving issues. Ask questions and keep asking questions until you find an appropriate answer. Above all, do not ignore an extended hand of help when offered from another person ... sharing the responsibilities of caregiving with others will, ultimately, help you.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Reducing Caregiver Stress at Holidays

Happy Thanksgiving! Holidays, such as Thanksgiving and Christmas, can remain very significant for families. These holidays can involve reuniting with relatives that one hasn't seen for some time, sharing laughs and memories, feasting until one's belt buckle needs to be loosened a notch and enjoying good company. However, when Mom or Dad grows older and lives in a care facility, the traditional familial celebration must change. While these events take on a different form, families can still partake of the festivities, while still involving Mom or Dad. Here are a few ideas of how to do this:

Bring the holiday to your parent: Decorate Mom or Dad's room, bring in a plate of home-cooked turkey with a wedge of pumpkin pie or revisit old photo albums to remember the good times from holidays past. At Christmas, why not arrange an impromptu barbershop quartet to visit your parent and sing holiday carols? Chances are that other residents, along with the care staff, in the home will greatly enjoy your music.

Shorten a family visit: If Mom or Dad is mobile and well enough to travel, bring her/him to a relative's home for part of the day. As an elderly senior will tire more easily, it will be wise to limit the stay ... perhaps to a couple of hours. Consider the best time of day for a parent to visit ... when is he/she most lucid and/or awake? In the wintertime, remember to clear the front sidewalk of any snow or ice to reduce the risk of accidental falls. Don't forget to also clear the inside of your home as well ... Christmas wrapping paper strewn over the living room floor can become a slipping hazard.

Occupy children: Youngsters, bless their hearts, can be great joys at holiday time. Their excitement can be very contagious. However, enthusiastic children can easily become boisterous children and noise levels can increase. With my father, sudden noises startled him - this may well be disturbing for your own parent. If Mom or Dad is visiting you at-home, provide a distraction for your children ... can you take them skating? Tobagganing? Hunting for Easter eggs out in the back yard?

These are just a few ideas to help your holidays continue to go well. Yes, holidays can - and will - change for families and family caregivers; however, they don't need to be as stressful.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Communicating When Communication is Impossible

Communicating with your parent when he/she becomes older can become even more difficult, if not impossible. In the case of my father, Alzheimer's disease stole both his memory and his ability to speak. Therefore, when I visted Dad, I had to find more creative ways to converse with him. Here are just a few examples of what I had tried and found success with:

Oral Reading: Dad, as a former English Professor, had always appreciated fine writing and great pieces of literature. In fact, he spent many hours reading selected stories out loud to his three children before their bedtimes. When the tables turned, I found I could read to him ... I never knew if he recognized the story shared; however, I suspect he found this familiar in some way. Doing this was a pleasant way for me to spend time with Dad and I felt good to be able to do this.

Smile: A smile expresses friendliness, warmth, appreciation and caring. And, it is so easy to do - in fact, I heard once that smiling actually requires fewer facial muscles than frowning. Even if your parent cannot speak, he/she may still understand the gesture of smiling and the wonderful meaning behind this. A smile is a powerful but silent way to share and it can be very rewarding to have your parent return that smile to you.

Hug: Like a smile, an embrace can speak volumes when words cannot be spoken. I found that my father appreciated this; it also created rewarding memories for me. I will fondly remember our final hug on the night before he died and the tickle of his wool sweater against my face. By squeezing tighter, you can share your love with your parent.

These are just a few ideas to try when you cannot verbally dialogue with your parent. With some experimentation, you may well find other options which will work for you.
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