Making - and Keeping - Caregiving Resolutions

As one year ends and another begins, many of us make resolutions to somehow improve our lives ... to exercise more frequently, to eat more healthily and/or to stop smoking are all common goals. Resolutions are a good idea to help us strive to better ourselves ... just keep these small and more realistic! It is far easier to give up on that grandiose plan to lose 50 pounds by the end of January than it is to go for a 15-minute walk each day.

Even when caregivers are consumed with tending to the needs of older parents, they can still remember to resolve. In fact, focusing on your own health and personal well-being can prove to be very important as you serve as a caregiver for another person. To make matters easier and to give you the best chance of succeeding, I suggest you make only one resolution for this next year ... that is, to accept your own humanity. Unless you happen to have a secret identity as a superhero, you cannot slip into a phone booth to change and then leap over tall buildings and achieve great things. We all have our own limitations.

How you remember your own humanity is up to you; however, here are a few suggestions:

Know that it is acceptable to lose your temper or cry. Caregiving can be an emotional rollercoaster ride and it is perfectly "okay" to feel such emotions. On a related note, know that it is also acceptable to laugh. If you deem such emotions unacceptable, simply apologize for them and carry on.

Accept those days when you may forget to pick up something for your loved one. Many of us are trying to multi-task to an extreme. Last time I checked, all of us only have two hands, two arms and two feet. The more you attempt to do, the more mistakes you are likely to make. Slow down. Don't beat yourself up if you overlook to run an errand or miss dispensing the occasional dose of medication for your loved one.

Organize - but on a smaller scale. Cracking open a file cabinet drawer of past parental income tax returns to review can be overwhelming. Work on these type of jobs slowly and seek out help, when and where you can. Look at less large undertakings. Perhaps you can work through Mom or Dad's closet, pull out clothes which don't fit anymore and donate these to a community cause? By doing so, you are helping your loved one (by reducing the closet clutter), helping yourself (by keeping your responsibilities more realistic) and helping others (by providing needed items).

This may not be new advice to you; however, write that resolution down and post it in a conspicuous spot (e.g. the refrigerator door, the bathroom mirror or on your bedside table). Even when you forget your resolution (and there will be times that you do), it will be easy enough to read this again and remind yourself of your own priorities.