Moving and Downsizing a Parent

When the time comes to move Mom/Dad into a retirement home, you will have to downsize and declutter. Care home resident rooms are considerably smaller than a former home and completely lack the storage space available in a garage, attic or basement. With a lifetime of prized parental possessions stockpiled, how do you best cut back?

Filter through your loved one’s possessions and set aside any items spoken for by family members. Mom/Dad’s old couch could find new life with a younger child just moving out. Once siblings have been designated certain mementoes, look for new homes for other possessions. Perhaps Dad’s collection of books could be sold to a used-book dealer (give the proceeds to a recognized charity) or donated to a local library?

You will have no argument from me that doing this can be intensely difficult. Great sentimental value can be attached to any number of parental belongings. As care homes in any city/town do not provide a great deal of space for residents though, purging becomes necessary. Start small and work your way up from there. Be patient with yourself and others as you are faced with making some very difficult emotional decisions.

If you cannot come to a satisfactory decision immediately as to what to do with something belonging to Mom/Dad, that’s okay. Just delegate a family member to make a decision by a certain date. Without a deadline, you may well stall coming to any conclusion. Another option for you could be to consider a professional senior’s moving service. Here, the company’s staff can pack and move a parent without becoming emotionally involved.

What will effectively fit into Mom/Dad’s new elderly home? What will remain useful? A deep plush armchair, for example, may have been once very comfortable but now may trap a senior who will not, necessarily, have the strength to push him/herself upright. Replace that armchair with a more practical lift chair, which smoothly raises and lowers the senior. Such lift chairs come in many different styles; get the model and size of chair which best suits your loved one. Consider also if something has additional value. When my family moved my father into his long-term care home, we provided a small bookshelf which not only housed a few precious books but also family photographs. We asked a local carpenter to install small wheels in the bookshelf base so it could be rolled away for ease of sweeping and mopping underneath.

Resist the urge to simply pack everything away in a paid storage facility as monthly fees can quickly add up and become an increased financial burden. Items out of sight are not necessarily out of mind. Additionally, do not squeeze everything into your own garage, basement or attic. You may need some time to make some difficult emotional decisions (as to what to do with Mom/Dad’s “stuff”); however, this does not mean that you should hang onto these items permanently. Retaining parental belongings can, in fact, delay your healthy grieving process as you will have constant reminders.