Experiencing Grief to Relief

Hearing the news from Canadian Living that they had accepted my article on dealing with Alzheimer's and providing the best care possible was both exciting and flattering! They have since posted the following on their Health & Wellness section of their website:

Experiencing Grief to Relief …

Caring for a Parent with Alzheimer’s disease

By Rick Lauber

I often say that I lost Dad twice – once when he forgot who I was and once when he died. With Alzheimer’s disease, Dad had precious memories stolen from him – family, friends, career and even what weekday it was all became foreign. Watching Dad decline had both immensely difficult and challenging moments, but caregiving for him also provided great joy.

Hearing the diagnosis was alarming. My family had to face that Dad would imminently forget all details from his life. Past the prescription of Aricept (suggested to stall the symptoms), there was nothing I could do but accept the terrible truth: to-date, no cure for Alzheimer’s has been found. Progressing to parenting a parent was stressful for me – I acquired many unexpected responsibilities, including banking, driving Dad to doctor’s appointments and serving as Dad’s Guardian and Alternate Trustee. I helped move him three times in his final years living in Edmonton, picked up medications and regularly visited him. At 40 years old, I was single but had plenty on my plate – a job, post-secondary classes and family responsibilities. Managing Dad’s life and my own life became an all-consuming juggling act and I frequently prioritized Dad’s needs ahead of my own.

While our father-son relationship was never strained, Dad was always emotionally reserved. This used to upset me; however, his Alzheimer’s disease was a blessing in disguise. With his condition, Dad’s emotional wall came down; as a result, I got to know him much better. Dad was a gentle, caring man who was simply quiet by nature. Other unanticipated benefits included my forging a stronger relationship with my two sisters (who also helped with Dad’s care), becoming more organized and learning more about my own capabilities.

If and when you become a caregiver in the months or years ahead, prepare as much as possible (learn about the specific health condition, make key decisions with other family members, tour appropriate long-term care centres, etc.); take respite and ask for help when needed.

Rick Lauber is the author of Caregiver’s Guide for Canadians – a valuable resource for individuals providing eldercare. The book is available at national Chapter’s bookstores as well as on-line at http://www.self-counsel.com/default/caregiver-s-guide-for-canadians.html.. For further information, please visit www.caregiversguideforcanadians.com.