A Caregiver's Rights

You may well have seen or heard these before, but I wanted to share them here. These are a number of Caregiver's Rights, which emphasize what must remain important to you as you continue to tend to the needs of an aging parent. Unfortuneately, the author of these Rights remains anonymous so I cannot give him/her full credit; however, I would like to sincerely thank the original writer for sharing these thoughts. Print these rights out and tape them to your bathroom mirror to remain conspicuous each day. Also, feel free to add to these rights, as you see fit.

I have the right:

• To take care of myself. This is not an act of selfishness. It will give me the capability of taking better care of myself.
• To seek help from others even though my relative may object. I recognize the limits of my own endurance and strength.
• To maintain facets of my own life that do not include the person I care for, just as I would do if he or she were healthy. I know that I do everything I reasonably can for this person and I have the right to do some things for myself.
• To get angry, be depressed and express other difficult feelings occassionally.
• To reject any attempt by my relative (either conscious or subconscious) to manipulate me through guilt, anger or depression.
• To receive consideration, affection, forgiveness and acceptance for what I do from my beloved one for as long as I offer these same qualities in return.
• To take pride in what I am accomplishing and to applaud the courage it has sometimes taken to meet the needs of my relative.
• To protect my individuality and my right to make a life for myself that will sustain me in the time when my relative no longer needs my full-time help.
• To expect and demand that as new strides are made in finding resources to aid physically and mentally impaired older persons in our country, similiar strides will be made towards aiding and supporting caregivers.